Finals: Solutions Offered

Claire Wittkop, Features Editor

Hello Brush and Palette readers! While looking over old archives of our school newspapers, we found an interesting article that we have decided to post below. It’s from the December 16th issue of 1983. The articles is written by Kathleen Immel. This article is relevant today because it is close to finals week and Kathleen provides some interesting methods to prepare! Good luck on finals!


Three times during the school year students lose a lot of sleep and go through small fits of anxiety. These three time are finals week at the end of the trimester (one down and two left to go).

What happened to the time? It seems as if school just started a few weeks ago. Yesterday a freshman, tomorrow a senior. This year’s GPA depends on yesterday’s tests. I know we all look forward to the closing of the trimester, however, we hope that our teachers forget to present us with a final exam to calculate the amount of knowledge gained in their classroom. But there are a few things students can do to alleviate much of the anxiety caused by this god-awful week. Such as:

Study:  Though this is recognized in many cultures as an effective means of relief, it does have some harmful side effects; such as an increased awareness of a subject to the point where something may actually be learned, improvement of reading and study habits, preparation for the outside world and worse yet, disruption of the average students life. The benefits of studying may not outweigh the harms; then again, that is a personal decision and should be taken under serious consideration.

Cheat: Although this method is not highly recommended by the school administrators or the faculty, it has been used effectively by students throughout history. The earliest known and recorded case of cheating was discovered in a cave in Southern France. Archaeologists found the remains of what they believed to a “cheat sheet” and the stone test paper was clearly marked an “A”, proving that cheating can be successful. Now the other part of the story that I haven’t told you is that right next to the test sheet were found the remains of a small boy. Obviously our ancestors did not tolerate cheating. Cheating does have two harmful side effects to it. One is the awful cramping of fingers from writing so many names, dates, and figures on such a small piece of “cheat sheet”. The other is the strain placed on your eyes trying to see all of the small printed information. (These are usually temporary and nothing to worry about.)

Don’t worry about it: This method of preparation for finals week is probably the most modern. Although the use of this relaxing method is declining, due to the intoleration on the part of the school board, there is some hope for those students planning on using it. After all, Ronald Reagan made it when schools were much tougher, so why can’t someone else?

Become a Genius:  This method is relatively unused, which is surprising because becoming a genius is so easy. If someone wished to become an artistic genius, all they have to do is glue some pieces of felt and metal together, explain the “inner meaning” of this mess and they will automatically be labelled a second “Picasso” and become famous on the spot. The possibilities are endless!

These are only a few of the most common methods used to prepare for finals week. Many people, I’m sure, have their own little home remedies passed down through blood generations, but some of these remedies become quite outdated. However, if these methods are used correctly by responsible students, they should be able to make it through finals week with a little bit of sanity left. Good luck with the next two.