Laguna Beach was just a sleepy little beach town. Happy and healthy, it was picture-perfect to the outside viewer. But little do outsiders know that, once a year, a plague sets in – a kind of disease that runs rampant among high school seniors.

A disease called senioritis.

Now you may be thinking that senioritis isn’t a legitimate disease. It’s just an excuse that accounts for laziness, you may say. Well, you’re wrong.

Take me for example. If you knew me freshman year (and I’m sincerely sorry if you did), you know what I was. All work and no play. I literally did not have any friends for the first three years of high school all because I poured myself into my grades in a vain attempt to reach the Holy Grail: Stanford University. (For the record, STANFORD SUCKS! WOOH POMONA!)

Case in point: My grades were nearly perfect. If you look at my report card now, “Cameron” isn’t the only place you’ll find a C. My grades have plummeted, indeed, but not of my own free will. I did not choose to let my grades fall. It has been the effect of senioritis.

In my personal experience, I have yet to find a single senior who has not felt the effects of this disorder, at least to some degree.

“Da senioritis 2 real, idk how to even give quotes anymore,” said senioritis-afflicted Quin Yeager.

Senioritis is marked not only by an inability to complete the simplest of school-related tasks but also by the tedious, nay, impossible feat of waking up daily, just past the crack of dawn, throwing on a pair of sweatpants and a stained T-shirt and spending the subsequent eight hours in a confined room of like-minded seniors.

“I am literally so done. Like it’s not even funny. It hurts. It causes me physical pain. I’m just over school. Just make it stop!” said senior Victoria Spencer.

The struggle also applies to senior teachers who are daily forced to deal with and instruct these zombies.

“I’m not gonna lie. It’s rough. The seniors literally are dead, so there is no way that they can possibly even comprehend the things that I am trying to teach them. I’m getting senioritis!” said government and economics teacher Mark Alvarez.

Seniors must learn not to give up. There is light at the end of the tunnel! We are at the final stretch, and the last thing you need are demerits from unexcused absences. After all, you won’t be able to go to prom (or graduate) with too many demerits.

“Let’s face it. I just come to school so I don’t get demerits, so I can go to prom with Cameron. He’s the love of my life,” said Yeager.

If we stick together, we can overcome this imperial affliction. All it takes is a little perseverance!

Just kidding. There’s no hope. Just suffer it out and eventually we’ll get to graduation, and we’ll walk off into that Laguna Beach sunset and never turn back.

Until then we wait.