Over the past few weeks, a 2021 post from the organization CHC Rape Crisis Center has been circulating on Instagram. The post states, “However you dress, wherever you go, YES MEANS YES & NO MEANS NO, costumes are not consent.” The post from the North Carolina-based organization has 888,000 likes and has been reposted endlessly by people across the country and even in our Laguna Beach community. Though many are reposting this vital message, the ideas of consent in relationships, friendships, and interactions still remain unclear and vague.
Very few states in the United States require consent education, California being one, but many are opposed to consent teaching as it is commonly associated with intimate relationships. However, consent is used nearly daily in life, not just in intimate relationships. It is essential to know the definition and factors of consent.
What is Consent?
According to the national sexual violence prevention organization SafeBAE, the definition of consent is “to express permission for something to happen or agreement to do something.” Six pillars of consent must be before moving forward with a decision: Mutual, Ongoing, Sober, Enthusiastic, Voluntary, Revocable
Mutual – all parties involved must agree to the action. For example, if one is asked out, the person asking and the person getting asked out have to agree before they can start dating each other.
Ongoing – Consent must be given throughout the actions. If a person wants to go to a party with another person, they both must continuously be willing to be at the party.
Sober – All parties must be sober to give consent, a person cannot give consent if they are under the influence in any way.
Enthusiastic – Both parties must be willing to complete the action. If a group of people are signing a contract, they all must be willing to agree to the contract.
Voluntary – Consent cannot be forced; peer pressuring a person to say yes is not them giving consent.
Revocable – Consent can be revocable at any time; if one does not want to continue despite saying yes before, they can stop.
Though these concepts are very general, they need to be followed for healthy relationships, friendships, and interactions to keep the community a safe place as a whole.
FOR MORE INFORMATION ON SAFEBAE AND CONSENT: https://safebae.org/
IF YOU OR ANYONE YOU KNOW HAS EXPERIENCED SEXUAL VIOLENCE AND NEEDS ASSISTANCE: RAINN NATIONAL SEXUAL ASSAULT HOTLINE 1-800-856-4673
